cycling Jokes!!

Hey It was my dads birthday yesterday and someone gave him a load of cycling jokes cause hes mad about cycling so i thought i would tell u some. Here goes

A tandem rider os stopped by a police car. "what have i done officer " asks the rider.
"Perhaps you didn't notice sir but your wife fell off your bike half a mile back"
"Oh thank god for that says the rider I thought i had gone deaf!"


A tired cyclist sticks his thumb out for a lift. After 3 hours,he hadn't got any1 to stop. Finally a guy in a sports car pulled over and offered him a ride. But the bike wouldn't fit in the car. The driver got some rope out of the trunk and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the rider "if i go too fast ring your bell and i'll slow down"

Everything went will until another sports car blew past them. The driver forgot all about the cyclist and put his foot down. A short distance down the road, they hammered through a speed trap. The cop with the radar gun and raioed ahead that he had 2 sports cars heading his way at over 150 mph

he then relayed, " and you're never going to believe this but there's a cyclist behing them ringin his bell to pass!"

An over zealous traffic cop stopped the vicar on his bicycle after checking the bike thoroughly and finding nothing wrong he had to let the vicar go
You will never arrest me because god is with me wherever i go said the vicar
Right then said the cop i'm nicking u for arrying a passenger on a single seater vehicle!

" i don't member you ever beating Lance Armstron" Said the journlist. "when was that"
"in the seventh stage of the tour de France in 2002 i beat him over the head with my water bottle- but he still won the tour"


Hope u liked the jokes. xxx