OMG AMAZING PLOT TWIST!

So I was just talking to Richard on msn, and he told me something quite shocking.
When I read it is was so shocked, it felt like 200 volts of shockingness shocking right through me like a bolt of lightning which was itself feeling quite shocked as it read the screen, it even stopped to say "HOLY FUCKING CRAP I AM SHOCKED BY THIS SHOCKING REVELATION." The lightning bolt was so shocked it stopped to ponder this shocking fact while was sitting there being both shocked by what Richard just told me and the lightning bolt, which at this point was still too shocked to consider the shocking reality that it is shockingly impossible for a lighting bolt to pass through a building during a cloudless night. I am only just coming to terms with the shocking news that Richard shockingly delivered to me to even comprehend how shocked I will be when I consider that shocking paradox of being struck by lightning indoors.
The conversation went like this:
Sandy: So Richard, got your eye on any particular love interest?
Richard: I do, but I will not tell youzorz
Sandy: I must insist you tell me, you have my word of a gentleman that no-one will ever hear of this conversation.
Richard: Oh okay, your prowess at debating has made me powerless to resist, so I shall tell you who my heart has been set on for such a long time. However, I must warn you that you may find what I am about to say very shockingzorz
Sandy: Hah! Nothing could ever shock me, I'm like rubber underwear, stylish and insulating.
Richard: Okay, the person I lovezorz is....
Richard left the chat
Richard joined the chat
Richard: Sorry I got disconnected, if only I had your unmatched knowledge of technology and pretty much everything else I would be able to maintain a stable life and desktopzorz.
Sandy: It's understandable, many people aspire to be as great as me one day. But please continue, I must hear who this person is who has met your impossibly high standards in love.
Richard: Sandy, the person I love is youzorz
Sandy: I was totally not expecting that.